You were so brave to hang on as long as you did. While the other, less robust brain cells shriveled and died in a flurry of new mommydom, you stayed the course. You tried so hard to lead me to new pursuits – quilting, jewelry making. You encouraged me to start reading again. You were my biggest fan, my loudest cheerleader. You never considered that you might not be around to see the dawn of another new, fabulous day.
And yet today, while we were counting baby monkey toes for the umpteen-millionth time in an effort to entertain the sleepless small one…while we were engaged in circular conversation with the older brother who shadowed us every moment of his “sick day”…while we built our tower of just-rinsed-but-waiting-for-an-empty-dishwasher dishes…I felt you slipping away. A slow, tender retreat.
I shed a single tear for you, my stalwart friend. You were loyal and true. I hope to see you again someday – to feel your warm, reassuring presence in my noggin’. It seems for now I will have to rely on these survivalist reinforcements that have come in – the brain cells who’s sole function it is to simply keep me sane. They are the lesser allies, to be sure, but I will let them hold your place for you until you see it is safe to return.
Filed under: Motherhood, Too Much Free Time
Your brain cell has gone on vacation with the little lady that lives in my head. They didn’t leave an itinerary, I don’t know when they’ll be back. Let me know if they go to you first. Sure do miss them
Perhaps we should file a Missing (Imaginary) Persons Report? sn
Oh, we knew him well. He will be missed.
Right there with you… it was grad school that did it to me. At least you have 5 lovely babies to show for the loss, I guess. I have a piece of paper and a lot of debt.
Oh, that line SO fits, because I’ve been doing lots of dramatic monologues lately!
And 5 lovely babies *equals* a lot of debt, so you and I are almost on the same page! 
sn
Isn’t it amazing that women live longer than men, considering what we put our poor bodies and brains through? I guess it just proves how resilient we are. I got a good chuckle out of this post.
I think women must live longer than men for the same reason that we typically stay up later than men: just so we can finally get some time alone!! (juuuuuust kidding!)
sn
I have kept my brain cells, but gained a person upstairs. I saw this nice business looking man watching me in the Walmart Supercenter, discussing to myself, the various benefits of different brands of frozen food. I saw him, turned red and he laughed very nicely at me.
Oh, that’s too funny! Once I was at the store with my daughter, who was just little at the time and was sitting in the cart, trying on sunglasses. A taller shelf was behind her, obstructing a view of her from anyone standing beyond it. At one point, I did a little “woot-woooo” whistle at my daughter in some big glasses, and a man standing just beyond the big shelf looked at me like I was whistling at him. OH! It was SO embarrasing!!
sn
a wonderfullllllll post and, for me at this moment, so easy to relate to!
Maybe your brain cell will hook up with the one that left me this morning and they’ll become buds.
That would be nice.
Yeah, our brains cells are doing a little Thelma and Louise thing right now. If only Brad Pitt were around….
sn
Oh, how I relate (and laughed)!
I have said way too many times, that we lose brain cells with each child we birth. And then we lose more with each teenager. I’m not sure when the losing ends and the gaining begins!
I’m just praying that there’s no such thing as “too late!!”
sn